I often talk about the experience of “Marketing Introverts” out in the business world because I am one myself. In a blog post for the Harvard Business Review, titled “How to Attend a Conference as Yourself,” writer Peter Bregman doesn’t use those words, but he describes the experience of such a person vividly.
Bregman is a strategic advisor to CEOs and author of the book, 18 Minutes: Find Your Focus, Master Distraction, and Get the Right Things Done.
His blog post focused on his experiences as a panelist for South by Southwest, a huge 10-day convergence of music, films, and emerging technologies, held annually in Austin, Texas. He writes that his panel presentation and book signing went great, but once that was over and he was just another person at the conference, things didn’t go as he had hoped.
“I went to a conference party and just stood there, shy, embarrassed, and reluctant to reach out and meet people. I was annoyed with myself. What’s my deal?”
Making plans to meet a friend at a conference event can help introverts feel more comfortable. Members Pat McNees and Rae Jean Sielen had great fun connecting at the 2009 APH Conference reception.
Unfortunately, I know only too well what Bregman’s “deal” was. Mingling at the social event, drink in hand, surrounded by seemingly confident people, a marketing introvert will often go cold and not know how to approach others or what to say.
In his post, Bregman made a good point about his own experience of this discomfort. He identified that, for him, the fact that he is standing there without a purpose or a role makes it difficult to know “who he is or should be” in relation to these other people. He called this a “conference-generated identity crisis.” Once he just let himself “be himself” he relaxed and found that other people naturally approached him and that, amazingly, he really did have things to say.
If you both long for and dread the opportunity to meet lots of other personal historians at the conference, this is a good article for you to read in advance of St. Louis. It will be good news to you that you can “go as yourself” and have a wonderful experience with all your peers.
As one of those peers, and as an introvert myself, I sincerely say that I look forward to meeting you in St. Louis!
About today’s contributor: Dhyan Atkinson is a business consultant and business skills trainer who specializes in working with personal historians through private consulting, teleclasses, and workshops through her business, The Five Essential Skills. At the APH conference in St. Louis, Oct. 17-21, she will be leading two workshops: Co-Active Marketing for Personal Historians and Marketing Best Practices: An Update on the Five Essential Skills.
Thank you for writing this post, Dhyan. I loved Bregman’s candor about his own identity crisis.
Me too. I think the more of us “come out” and admit we are not social butterflies but still want to be part of the business world the more normal it all will seem.
Dhyan, it’s always surprising yet reassuring to know other seemingly successful people are introverts at heart. Thanks for the article.
Hey, let’s plan to meet up at the APH Conference so we can have some fun!
It’s a deal. I’m looking forward to seeing everyone! dhyan
I often feel like I’m the only person who is not comfortable in a big gathering – looking on as others have no trouble chatting up anyone they happen to be standing next to. Glad to know it’s not just me. Introverts of the world unite! Wait… would that work?
Fran, one thing that helped me early on when I was pretty terrified of business events was to set a goal for myself. 10 business cards to give away. A goal of 10 business cards to pick up. At the APH events I carry a small notebook and pen so that I can jot down who I met, where, and a note about what we talked about. Otherwise my memory is very bad. Somehow the paper and pen makes me feel more brave. I don’t know why. — I hope you are one of my “10″ at the opening event! Dhyan
Thanks, Dhyan! I wouldn’t be surprised to learn that many personal historians are introverts, simply due to the nature of the work. I’m reminded of my first week of college (It was a small school!) when there was a dance in the gymnasium for the incoming freshman. All the boys cowered on one side of the room and all the girls on the other. The organizers decided the solution was to turn the event into a “shoe dance” (i.e. everyone toss a shoe into a pile, get a shoe out of the pile, and find the owner). That finally got us socializing. Has anyone at APH thought of trying this? I would make it soooooo much easier on us introverts! :->
Now THERE’S a thought! Anyone in the organizing committee for the opening mixer reading this?